


When Life Hands You...Wait, Where Are the Lemons?

by ereshai



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: But no actual lemon or lime, Citrus References Abound, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-14 23:57:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8034046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ereshai/pseuds/ereshai
Summary: Clint's just wants some lemons





	When Life Hands You...Wait, Where Are the Lemons?

**Author's Note:**

> Attempting footnotes...this may or may not work.
> 
> ETA: Success!

Clint walked into the communal kitchen. Natasha was there, cutting oranges in half.

They exchanged greetings as Clint opened the fridge. 

“Where’d all the lemons go?” Clint grumbled. He could have sworn there were a few there only that morning – this was Avengers Tower after all; there was never a shortage of anything, including citrus[1] fruits.

“You are asking the wrong person.” Natasha picked up an orange half and mashed it down on the juicer. The machine whirred, reducing the fruit to pulpy juice. When it was done, Natasha held the peel over an empty glass and squeezed out a few more drops. “I’m obviously having orange juice.”

“Like you don’t add a little lemon to your orange juice,” Clint scoffed.

“Clint, I love you, but I barely have any lemons[2]. I’m keeping them for myself.”

“You’ve shared your lemons with me before,” he whined.

“Go talk to Tony and Steve[3], they have plenty. Or was it Steve and Bucky[4]? All I know is someone is walking around with a lot of lemons.”

“They’re probably busy.” They were always busy, it seemed.

“You could use limes[5]. Or ask Thor, I think he has grapefruit[6].”

“Not exactly what I’m looking for, but I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, Nat,” he said glumly.

Before Clint could leave, Phil walked in with a bag of lemons. 

“Oh my god, I love you,” Clint shouted and threw himself at his husband. “I’ve been craving lemonade[7] so bad, you have no idea.”

He pulled Phil into a heated kiss. The lemons[8] fell to the floor, rolling around their feet.

Something hard hit Clint in the side of the head. He looked around and found Natasha holding up an orange[9], ready to throw. “Not in the kitchen.”

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to find out what exactly constituted a lemon. [This Fanlore entry](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Lemon) spawned this ridiculous bit of fic.
> 
> 1 Erotic but not necessarily graphic [return to text]  
> 2 Natasha is in about 150 explicit fics on AO3, not necessarily as the character getting any action [return to text]  
> 3 There are over 3000 explicit Stony fics on AO3 [return to text]  
> 4 And almost 4500 explicit Stucky fics [return to text]  
> 5 Fade-to-black, less graphic than lemons [return to text]  
> 6 This doesn’t mean anything, but it should. And whatever it means, Thor would be into it. [return to text]  
> 7 Fluffy AND graphic *nudge nudge wink wink* [return to text]  
> 8 1400 explicit Phlint fics, of which I have contributed 1 [return to text]  
> 9 So apparently orange indicates making out, but hardly anyone uses it? [return to text]


End file.
